Golden Words on Blackest Tongue
by ILoveSourWorms
Summary: Remus and Sirius begin to explore the early stages of their tumultuous relationship against the backdrop of their sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts. Part 2 of my 'Golden Words' series, part one is 'Sirius Black Gets a New Mate (Not the Friend Kind)'


Remus Lupin hardly expected the last 24 hours to progress in the ways in which they did. After the events of late last night and early this morning, Remus didn't know how to even approach Sirius, let alone speak to him. In the moment, both of the boys were passionate and honest, embracing one another like they wouldn't have the chance to again, but now neither had uttered a single word to each other. Remus doesn't even want to consider the repercussions of his actions. Sirius Black is his mate. _Sirius Black is his mate._

There was also James to consider, the other young man in on their newfound secret, embarrassingly walking in on the two sleeping and naked and wrapped tightly around each other. Remus let out a sigh to himself. What if Sirius had changed his mind, and no longer wanted to be with him? He didn't want to entertain that possibility.

Remus checked the time on his muggle watch, it was approximately 11:30pm, and the young man had an essay due on Monday morning, just two days from now. Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, the young man rolled onto his side and began to pull his curtains shut, sparing one look towards Sirius' own bed. What he saw surprised him. The other young man, eyes wide open, were boring directly into Remus'.

"Hi." Sirius whispered across the small distance.

"Hi Sirius."

Remus looked at him for a moment longer, until he grabbed his curtain with his hand and pulled it shut.

James was walking back from Quidditch practice on Wednesday night, sweaty and tired, therefore, the last thing he felt like dealing with was Sirius Black. It had now been five days since 'The Incident', and yet the pair were still to engage in an actual conversation with one another. The most that James has heard either of them say was yesterday in Potions, when Sirius muttered, ' _How many dragon scales are we meant to put in this potion again?_ ', and quite frankly, James was getting sick of it.

The young man began walking towards the Gryffindor common room, and he couldn't help noticing Sirius sulking 10 paces behind him.

"Oh for Merlin's sake man! Tell me what your bloody problem is! It's Remus isn't it?" Sirius' head shot up the second James opened his mouth, as though he was surprised he was talking to him.

"No, there's nothing wrong Prongs." Sirius said curtly before putting his head down, as he continued walking towards the common room.

"You're a right git, you know that? Just talk to him!" James rolled his eyes and began to walk in the opposite direction, hardly in the mood to put up with the sulking heir to the House of Black.

Remus was once again sitting on his bed comfortably, enjoying some light reading. His peace and quiet was immediately disrupted at the entrance of Sirius into their room, a thunderous expression plaguing his usual playful features.

"Sirius? Are you okay?" The furious glance was sent his way, and Remus was promptly ignored. The light haired teen rolled his eyes and continued reading.

Sirius now sat in his bed, angrily tapping his foot against the quilt. Every few seconds, Remus would sneak a quick glance at Sirius, his contorted expression still in place. Remus could no longer focus on the task at hand, and despite the fact that he had Arithmancy homework due on next Monday, he found himself thinking more about what had caused Sirius' foul mood.

Remus groaned rather noisily, obviously trying to convey to Sirius that he found the repetitive ruckus annoying, but the boy continued.

"Sirius, can you _please_ stop doing that!" Remus let out in a huff, the noise stopping instantly. "Thanks." He muttered quietly, trying to go back to reading. It was no use, however, because now all he could concentrate on was whatever it was that was aggravating Sirius. Remus rolled his eyes at himself, and in an attempt to keep at least a shred of his sanity, pulled his curtains closed so as to not be distracted by the sight of his friend.

 _It's got to be me, he's obviously angry at me. Or maybe I'm just assuming, maybe he's mad at something else? But he hasn't spoken to me properly in five days! It has to be me. Should I talk to him? Should I leave him be for another week?_

Remus' thoughts continued along this tangent for the next hour at least, ending up so engaged in his own mind he didn't realise his curtains being pulled open. It wasn't until there was the slight pressure of another person leaning on his mattress that Remus looked over his shoulder and saw Sirius crawling into bed next to him.

"Hi." Remus rolled onto his other side and was now facing directly towards Sirius. The other boy stayed silent, but in a display of courage not unusual for Sirius, he softly pressed his lips to Remus'.

The kiss didn't last long, and as soon as it was over Sirius seemed to be more vulnerable than Remus had seen him in years. The pair were letting out equally shallow breaths, and Remus was enthralled by the sight of the other boy. His ruby red lips, accentuated by the gold of Remus' quilt, were opened slightly, his tongue occasionally sneaking out to run along his lips. His grey eyes were conveying so much emotion, among them were fear and worry, but overruling both of these was that mischievous glint they got whenever he'd fooled someone, or in this case, surprised them.

Remus smiled warmly at his friend and whispered a small "I've missed you." before both boys drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

It was the best sleep they'd both had in years.

This ritual of sneaking into Remus' bed had continued for two weeks, and the boys had slowly began to start talking again during the day. James was glad that they'd reconciled their differences, while Peter was oblivious to a problem in the first place.

It was now three days away from Christmas, and they were due to leave for the Hogwarts Express in 15 minutes. Remus was staying at school over the break, while James, Sirius and Peter were all due to return to their homes.

Rushing around the room, Sirius was hurriedly packing his suitcase with everything he'd need for the week. Remus laughed quietly to himself, seeing the other teenager so flustered.

"I _told_ you that you should've packed sooner." Remus gloated from his place on his bed.

"I _told_ you, that I don't care about your opinion." Sirius remarked back at Remus with a smirk, none of what he was saying had any heat behind it. "I'm going to miss you, you know." This was said much quieter, with a lot less confidence. It wasn't a question, Remus could tell it wasn't a question, Sirius knew that Remus knows, but was simply looking for some form of confirmation that he wasn't the only one.

"I know Pads, me too." Remus smiled kindly at the other boy and he returned it. Sirius immediately stopped what he was doing and began to stalk towards Remus, a dangerous glint in his eyes. Remus knew that look, it was the same one he gave James before he attacked him.

"Sirius... Whatever your planning, stop." Not even a second after Remus offered his warning to Sirius, he found himself being grabbed around the waist and pushed on the bed, lying flat on his back. To make matters worse, Sirius took advantage of this new angle, pulling himself up from where he laid all over the other boy and promptly sat upon Remus, spreading his legs so he had one on either side of his friend.

"You know, I quite like having you at this angle." Sirius took advantage of his position and pressed a firm kiss to Remus' lips. The boys continued to kiss lazily, enjoying themselves too much to be worried.

"I don't want you to go home for the week, the full is always harder when you aren't here." Remus mentioned quietly. Sirius made a small noise in agreement.

Sirius found himself jumping off of his friend's lap immediately at the sound of some footsteps thudding heavily up the stairs before Peter waltzed into the room. "Are you ready to go Sirius?" Peter queried. Remus and Sirius shared a similar look of annoyance at the interruption, but didn't say anything. "Is everything okay, Sirius?" Peter must've figured out that he'd managed to annoy his friends. "Was I interrupting... something?" Peter had begun to look worriedly between the two boys.

"No, Pete. Everything is fine." Remus said coolly. Peter looked relieved at the reassurance. The smaller boy turned away from his friends and walked over to his dresser.

"I always forget the socks... Why is it always the socks?" Peter muttered quietly to himself, shaking his head as he reached inside of the drawer to get enough pairs to last him the week. Remus and Sirius shared an amused glance at their friend.

"You boys know you only have three minutes until you need to leave?" Remus queried, smirking slightly as his friends let out a similar series of expletives.

Luckily, the pair finished their packing and made it down to meet Hagrid just as he was loading everyone onto the boats. Lily Evans, one of the sixth year prefects of Gryffindor scowled at them, obviously annoyed with their lateness. "Will you idiots ever learn the art of punctuality?" She practically growled at them.

Sirius looked at her, and gave her the most charming smile he could muster. "Don't fear, my love! I, Sirius Orion Black, would never miss the train, not with you on it! Lily dearest, please forgive my tardiness!" Sirius cried out dramatically, clutching his hands to his chest and putting a wayward hand across his forehead. "Now, quick! Give me a snog, before old Jamesy sees!" Sirius hardly flinched at the rough shove at his shoulder.

"You disgust me, Black! Now get away, you barmy git." Lily screeched at him, Sirius cackled horribly before walking away. The rest of the students had packed their luggage onto the boats, and Remus watched on with amusement as Sirius tried for a quick kiss on the cheek from Lily, only to be once again shoved away violently.

As the last of the teens were climbing on to their boats, Sirius stood up at cupped his hands around his mouth, "I'll never forget you, Moony! Our love is an eternal fire, and you are my undying flame!" Most of the kids around them snickered, not understanding the truth behind Sirius' word. Remus smiled at the words, as dramatic as they may be, he knew they were mostly true.

Remus watched as his friends floated away in the distance, and dreaded the long week ahead of him.

Sirius was trapped. He felt like all the happiness he'd managed to find since the start of the term was being stolen from him. The longer he stayed in this house, around his violent and psychotic mother, and his emotionally absent father, the more he felt his sanity wither away.

It had only been five days since he left. It was the 27th of December, and the full moon was tonight.

Sirius knew Remus would struggle without him. However, what wasn't expected, was how Sirius felt without Remus. Sirius imagined that the way he felt now - the itchiness under his skin and the scattered muscle aches - and his heart clenched painfully. Is this what Moony went through every full moon? It was so much more than what he'd expected.

Sirius knew the transformation hurt Remus, but he never realised what he went through preceding the event, the exhaustion in the morning, the hunger for anything bloody and full of protein in the days leading up to the transformation. It wasn't until he was experiencing these things for himself - due to some impossible connection - that he knew what Remus went through.

Sirius knew that his friend needed him tonight, he knew that the wolf would practically tear him apart if Sirius wasn't there to stop him. He let out an exaggerated sigh, why did the universe hate him so much? He knew he was being melodramatic, Sirius often reacted that way. He let out a small huff at himself, recalling a memory that demonstrated his point.

 _"Ssssssssrruss?" Sirius looked towards his friend's bed where Remus had haphazardly left his curtains open, the other boy's face was scrunched up slightly, he was obviously asleep._

 _"Please! Don't go!" Remus' mumbled and sleepy words were becoming louder with every second that passed. Sirius shot out of bed, wanting to wake his friend from the nightmare._

 _"REMUS! Wake up!" He shot up immediately, face dripping with sweat. He was confused for a moment before he realised that he'd been screaming. "Sorry." He muttered quietly._

 _"S'okay." Sirius rubbed a soothing hand across his friend's back. "Are you alright?" Remus nodded silently in response. "You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here if you want to." Remus looked at him in confusion. Sirius watched as a number of expressions danced across his face. Confusion, annoyance, realisation and finally adoration. The gleaming expression didn't last long, however, because soon enough Remus had collapsed into a laughing fit._

 _"What's so funny?" Sirius was confused with his friend, why was he laughing? Sirius was just trying to be comforting._

 _"No, Padfoot it's fine. You don't understand. I wasn't having. A. Nightmare." Every few words were broken up by Remus gasping for breath, still laughing. Sirius had moved from confusion to annoyance, he hated being ridiculed, especially when he was simply being comforting. "I was having a dream, and it was a special kind of dream, you know?" Remus was still cackling. "It wasn't a nightmare." Remus repeated._

 _"You were... having a dream?" Sirius frowned at the statement, before realisation dawned on his face. "Oh my god." Sirius now became acutely aware of their positions, both of them were sitting very close to each other and Sirius had his hand wrapped around his friend's shoulder. The blanket was pulled down to his friend's feet, his now obvious erection straining against his pyjamas. "I'm, uh... I'll just... go." Sirius quickly jumped up from Remus' bed and began to stumble back to his own. "I'll just, uh, let you deal with that." He muttered quickly._

 _Sirius jumped back into his own bed and heard Remus draw his drapes. Sirius looked down at himself and saw that he was now also sporting an erection. Sirius didn't even feel guilty when he wrapped a hand around himself and stroked his hard length into oblivion. It was over too soon._

 _Sirius fell back against his pillow and considered what he'd just done. "Oh fuck." He muttered to himself. He'd just jacked off to the thought of one of his best friends. One of the Marauders. He placed both hand over his eyes, ashamed and exhilarated by his actions._

 _Why the fuck did the universe hate him so much?_

Sirius laughed through his discomfort at the memory, reminiscing the first time he ever thought of his friend in that way. That was just over two years ago, he was 14 (nearly 15) at the time, the constant hormones pumping through him and causing him into a number of awkward situations. From that night, however, every time he rubbed a quick one out, it wasn't some girl who played part in fantasies. It was _always_ Remus.

Just thinking about Remus made him horny, and once again Sirius was quickly pulling one out. It didn't take him long at all, an embarrassingly small amount of time. Sirius wondered if this was another aspect of him experiencing the full moon second-handed. Remus had explained it to him after they... Mated. Sirius still felt slightly uncomfortable using the term, he didn't know why. He loved Remus, he did. Perhaps it was just the thought of the permanence of their situation that made Sirius fret. _It must be a Black thing,_ he thought bitterly.

Sirius could feel the moon beginning to rise now. Thank Merlin that his mother had locked him in his room seven hours earlier and declared he wasn't leaving until the morning, at least he wouldn't have to go near her for the rest of the night. _I don't think I could go near her if I wanted to._ Sirius' internal monologue was beginning to fault, his once structured thoughts of logical topics were changing dramatically. As the minutes wore on, he fell into a more primal mindset, the only thoughts occupying him were _food, mate, moon, Remus, moon, food, Remus, mate, MATE._

The young man felt himself roll onto his side on his bed and achingly clutch at his abdomen. He'd never felt anything like it, the pain tearing through him on a ruthless warpath.

Sirius feared for Remus, the thought that his mate was going through something similar made his heart clench. The pain became so overwhelming, Sirius found himself transforming into Padfoot in an attempt to help.

The shift didn't really help all that much. Sirius remained in agony, his mind and body still a slave to the pain and the pull of the moon. He still felt the impossible force of the wolf's thoughts, a wolf that wasn't his. In this form Sirius felt his human mind drip away completely as it became something more animal, more instinctive. The only thought running through his mind now was that of _mate._

Padfoot whined for his lost love, his other half, as he crawled off of the bed and went towards the window. The moon was still very low in the sky, and Sirius cried out in anguish. Remus wouldn't have transformed yet, but he would be close.

Yet another jolt of pain rushed through Sirius and he was compelled to transform back into his human form in order to stop himself howling in agony. In an attempt to muffle the scream now falling from his lips, Sirius covered his mouth with his hand and violently bit his fist, drawing blood.

The scream wasn't silenced, and his now bloody fist removed itself from his mouth, shaking furiously. He knew he'd made a mistake when he immediately heard the sound of footsteps coming up the staircase.

Sirius was in too much pain by the time his mother entered the room, an expression of vague fear taking her face for a second when she saw her son writhing in agony. She didn't understand what was causing her son such tremendous pain and this seemed to enrage her.

"Kreacher! Come here!" She screeched towards the door, before a small and disgusting figure made its way to the door.

"Yes Mistress?"

"Send for a Healer immediately, I wish to know the cause of this, whatever it is." Walburga Black stood stiffly at the door, the displeasure at her son's agony having nothing to do with the fact he was in pain, only that he was disturbing her evening.

It only took around five minutes for a Healer to arrive, followed by an Auror. Walburga was pleased with Kreacher's thinking, for if dark magic had been used against her son they could recognise and reverse it sooner. "See that he is healed as soon as possible, I don't want him too much softer in the brain." She spat out curtly, "And someone put a silencing charm on this room, I won't be disturbed again."

When Walburga was later approached by the unnamed Healer and told of the cause of her son's distress she was silent for a moment. They left promptly and avoided her gaze the entire way to the fireplace. Her grey eyes were alight with unbridled fury and she tore up the stairs back towards her son's room.

"You disgusting, foul _blood traitor!"_ Walburga burst into her son's room, to see Sirius sitting on his bed. He looked up in shock at his mother's entrance. "Crucio!" She screamed at the boy sitting silently. Sirius immediately fell off of the bed and onto the floor, he'd never gone through such suffering.

Sirius wished for his earlier pain to return, he wished that the old, familiar pain replace this all encompassing torture. His screams were echoing around the room and deafening in volume.

Walburga released her son from the spell and he immediately burst into sobs. She stormed towards his now cowering form on the floor and grabbed his hair roughly. "You are going to leave, tonight. You will never come back and your presence will _never_ tarnish our name again. You are no son of mine." Sirius would be less terrified if she'd yelled and screamed, instead she'd said the words as though they were the simplest things to ever drop from her mouth. His body no longer hurt, but his heart ached at his mother's ruthlessness.

Sirius let out a small nod and scrambled from the floor, he packed his bag and grabbed his wand and broom. Walburga Black followed him closely, her barely contained rage seeping through every pore in her skin. As Sirius ran into the desolate London street she slammed the large wooden door on her eldest son. The witch stormed into the Tapestry Room, and in her furious state, she blasted her son off of the family tree.

Remus was surprised by his lack of pain this moon. When he usually couldn't even think in the hour leading up to the transformation, he found himself having a surprising amount of clarity. He suspected it had something to do with gaining a mate, as his wolf was suspiciously calm and not bursting at the seams to break out of his skin and ravish the nearest victim (usually a rabbit or other small woodland creature).

The young werewolf could still feel the pull of the moon in his blood and in his heart, and despite him not having burning muscle aches and unbearable migraine's, he was still afraid of the coming transformation, always afraid.

Remus was glad that Prongs and Wormtail weren't around for this moon, as they'd (or at least, James) deftly pick up on the changes in him.

He began to pace around the room in the creaking old shack, decrepit and abandoned pieces of furniture lay to waste around the cluttered space. It wasn't long now, Remus could tell. _He could always tell._ Suddenly a sharp jolt of pain overcame him, oddly enough, his first thought was _Sirius._

As he began to feel the pain overwhelm him he fell to the ground, Remus didn't know how long he lied there, it could've been minutes, it could've been hours. Finally, just before he lost all sense of consciousness to the wolf, he looked up to meet glowing eyes and a large, black mutt.

"Si- Padfoot?" Remus called out questioningly. He never received an answer, because within seconds he felt the telltale snapping and rearranging of bones, the tearing of muscles and tendons, the elongation of his claws and teeth. Remus passed out from the overwhelming pain of the shift, his body and mind no longer his until the setting of the moon.

Sirius sprinted out of Grimmauld Place. Bag in one hand and his wand in the other, the young man began the unfamiliar trek to the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius contemplated his next move, he didn't have anywhere to go, except back to Hogwarts. As wonderful as that idea sounded, how exactly was Sirius going to manage it? The Knight Bus could only take him so far, and seeing as he couldn't apparate he was left with one option. The Floo Network.

However, the question remained, would he be permitted access to the Floo Network inside of the Leaky Cauldron? Sirius suspected he'd face little trouble, seeing as the Black name guaranteed quite a lot of leverage in the wizarding world, his family name carrying unquestionable influence, there was always the chance, however, that the news of his disowning had done the rounds in the main pure-blooded families. He'd doubted his mother would pass the news on to anyone outside of the family, but there was always the Healer and the Auror who'd come to try and fix him. Sirius shuddered at the memory.

 _"See that he is healed as soon as possible, I don't want him too much softer in the brain. And someone put a silencing charm on this room, I won't be disturbed again." Sirius barely looked at his mother as she left the room, her loathsome face sparing him a single glace that was laced with suspicion, no doubt she believed the affliction was of his own cause._

 _The Healer got to work immediately, she began casting unknown charms and frequently manoeuvred her hands across the firm and contracting muscles of his bare chest._

 _"It's like he's in a crucio, but nobody is cursing him." The Auror commented as he walked towards the window._

 _"I agree, the only time I've ever seen something like this was in a -"_

 _"Werewolf." The Auror finished, where he was at the window gave him a clear view of the sky, and in retrospect, the shining full moon._

 _"Yes, but that's impossible. Silver doesn't affect him." She pointed to the chain around his wrist. "Unless..." She mumbled quietly. The Healer turned back to the young wizard, still wriggling on the floor. "What if he's an empath? And he's experiencing or taking the pain of someone else? It makes sense, there is no cause for the affliction, so maybe it isn't his problem?" The Auror seemed to consider this for a moment._

 _"If there is a connection, you are to break it. You're familiar with the spell?" The Healer nodded and began casting the incantation._

 _Within seconds of the words being said, Sirius immediately stopped moving, a great tiredness overcoming his features. The Healer passed a worried glance towards the Auror who mumbled a quiet "Shit." and began to pace. "What are we to tell her?" The Healer questioned._

 _"The truth." He said sternly. "I'm not protecting a blood traitor from the wrath of Walburga Black. Of all the people to latch onto, the berk chose a werewolf? That's his own problem." The Auror spat out harshly. The Healer rolled her eyes slightly at his reaction, although it was obvious she agreed._

 _"I need you to tell me, Mr Black, have you ever heard of empaths?"_

Sirius kicked a crinkled can in the gutter, furious with his mother. In the space of an hour, he'd been disowned, cursed and discovered he was an empath. An incredibly rare type of wizard - even rarer than a Metamorphagus, apparently - that has the ability to sense the emotions of others, and to even form connections with people, enabling him to take some of their suffering. It was obvious to the Healer and Auror just who - or _what,_ as they stated - he had made a connection with, and to the extent of the connection.

 _"Mate, I'm going to put it bluntly. It's obvious that you're shacking up with some werewolf bitch. You probably think you love it, and the fact that your an empath, and you didn't know, caused you to make a bond with it_. _That is why you were feeling so much pain, because you took theirs." The Auror stated, almost as though he was bored. "We broke the connection, and now we're required to tell your mother." Sirius flinched at the mention of his mother, 'at least she won't know it was Remus' he thought bitterly to himself. Sirius nodded once and turned away from the Auror, as they left the room he went and sat on his bed, patiently awaiting the inevitable shitstorm._

Sirius scowled at the memory, fat lot of good his family ever did for him. As he arrived out the front of the Leaky Cauldron, he nervously kicked his foot on the path. What if they didn't allow him to use the Floo? How was he going to Remus? Sirius pushed his worries aside and opened the door into the bar.

"How are you going there?" Asked a young man at the counter.

"I'm fine, thank you, I was wondering if you had a Floo I was able to use. I need to get to Hogwarts." At the bartender's look, he added a hasty "Tonight."

The young man sighed and began walking into a room towards the back of the shop, gesturing for Sirius to follow him.

"We usually close the Floo at 6, but seeing as it's only just gone half past, I'll let you through. You're aware that you need permission on the other end, yes?" Sirius nodded in response. "It'll cost you 8 sickles." Sirius handed the coins to the bartender and walked towards the fireplace. He grabbed a small handful of powder and threw it into the furnace.

"Hello?" An old, wise voice called through the fireplace. _Dumbledore._

"Hello, Professor. It's Sirius. I'm requesting entry through the Floo."

"Of course, Sirius! As you were." Sirius sighed in relief and stepped into the fireplace. "Gryffindor Common Room." Sirius felt the comforting and familiar heat of the flames lick at his body before his surroundings changed, and he was soon crawling out and into the common room.

A stray second year gave him a frightened look, obviously not expecting someone to crawl through their fireplace. "Floo." He stated as a way of explanation. _He must be a muggle-born, to be unfamiliar with the Floo._ The young boy gave scrunched his face up, obviously confused. Sirius rolled his eyes and ran up to the dormitory, dumped his bad and started towards the whomping willow.

Once he was safely out of sight of curious eyes, Sirius immediately changed into Padfoot, just in case Remus had already shifted. Arriving at the whomping willow and pressing on the knot to allow him safe entrance, Sirius bolted the length of the passage in record time before climbing into the shrieking shack.

The first thing he heard was groaning, obviously in pain. Sirius ran through to where the sound was coming from, and there lay Remus, shaking slightly. The young boy looked up at him and muttered a weak "Padfoot" before a bloodcurdling scream took over him.

The shift had began and was over within a minute.

Remus opened his eyes once, twice, and deciding that he'd had a relatively good night he tried to sit up carefully. The first thing he noticed was an odd, metallic smell in the air, secondly was the bloody and beaten Sirius lying naked in the corner. Horror immediately ran through Remus as be bolted upright and ran to his side.

"Sirius! Oh Merlin, please be okay." His voice broke and he let out a wet sob when the other boy let out a pained groan and rolled over slightly. "Sirius? Are you awake?" Remus shook him lightly.

"M'fine Rem." He mumbled. Remus let out a sigh of relief and began looking for any wounds to attend to. All that was evident were light scratches on his shoulders and some bruises covering him. Other than that, he seemed fine.

"What did I do to you Padfoot?" Remus asked quietly.

"It was nothing Moony, we were just playing, s'all."

"What are you even doing here? You're meant to be at home."

"I'll tell you later, just let me sleep, please." Sirius whispered quietly, Remus obliged and lied down next to him.

Remus pretended he didn't feel the other boy flinch when he put a hand on his waist.

Remus knew Sirius was keeping his distance. It had now been two weeks since the full moon, everyone had returned back to school and it'd seemed everything was back to normal, everything except Sirius.

The boy still climbed into bed with Remus every night, still gave him a chaste kiss on the lips and still muttered a quiet _I love you_ in the morning when they first woke up. It was only during the day, when Sirius was usually affectionate and joking with all three of his friends, that one was being treated completely different. Remus' heart ached to not know what was causing his mate to avoid him, and any attempt to discuss it was immediately ignored and the subject changed.

Sirius still hadn't told him why he'd returned back to Hogwarts early either, Remus was so confused that he was becoming angry, not at Sirius, but with himself. It was obvious Sirius had gone through something, and it was selfish of Remus to make it about himself.

His worry for Sirius soon changed to rage when on a Wednesday evening Remus was walking along the corridor to head to the Quidditch Oval. He'd heard a girl giggling quietly, and seeing as it was a part of his prefect duties to ensure student weren't out of bounds, he approached the turret where she was obviously hiding only to find a slightly intoxicated Sirius and an unnamed 5th year Hufflepuff leaning all over each other. Sirius' top two buttons on his top were undone, and the Hufflepuff's hair was all ruffled. It was obvious what they'd been doing.

"What do you think you're doing?" Remus started quietly, Sirius' head shot up immediately, worry in his eyes for a second before that worry turned into rage.

"Fuck off Lupin, this doesn't concern you."

"That's it. Breaking curfew: 20 points from both of your houses, and speaking to me like that Sirius, that's another 10. You, what's your name?" He turned to the young girl.

"Mary." She muttered quietly.

"Well, Mary, you will also have a detention and if I ever see you out past curfew again, or talking to Sirius, I'll be taking 50." She nodded and hurried away.

"What are you playing at Remus!" Sirius screamed at him. "You don't fucking own me!" Remus pushed the boy up against the wall and gripped tightly onto his waist.

"You are to _never_ , _ever_ even so much as look at that girl again." Remus gritted out, his face only centimetres from Sirius'. "And don't expect to just come crawling back into my bed whenever you bloody well please, don't even think about kissing me goodnight, and don't you fucking dare tell me _YOU LOVE ME!"_ By the time Remus had finished his tirade, Sirius' rage had fallen from his eyes, realisation taking its place.

"Moony, I'm so-"

"Don't you dare, tell me you're sorry Sirius, you don't know the meaning of the word." Remus spat the words at him and turned away, stalking back towards the common room.

He could feel Sirius watching his back, and he pretended he didn't hear the choked sob exiting the other boy. He just walked faster.

Sirius stepped under the hot water of the shower-head, savouring the feeling on his tight and overworked muscles. It was the first time in weeks he'd actually stepped into the shower with the intent of more than just having a quick wash, unlike last time however, Sirius intended to enjoy it.Sirius tried to not think about the last time he was in here for more than five minutes, it was the _the Incident._ Since it happened, only two weeks ago, it had been clawing at the back of his mind, causing him to fall into an emotional turmoil.

 _"Si- Padfoot?" Remus called out questioningly. Sirius saw his face immediately change as the shift took him over. Sirius, in his dog form, immediately trotted over to his love and waited patiently for Moony to make his return._

 _Thankfully it was over within a minute and Remus didn't seem to have suffered anymore than usual. Moony took a few shaky steps before once again being accustomed to his form, walking over to his friend._

 _The pair sniffed each other for a minute and Moony let out a soft growl at the other dog before Padfoot bared his neck at the large wolf. Moony seemed pleased by this and pressed his neck into the crook of his mate's neck._

 _Padfoot started towards the door, indicating he wanted Moony to follow, but the daft old mutt just went and howled at the window. Padfoot quickly approached his friend and nipped his on one of his back legs and Moony flung around, teeth bared and trying to catch Padfoot somewhere._

 _The black dog sprinted out the door and Moony took chase, they ran for what seemed like hours, and only after finding and mauling a rabbit did Moony seem to forgive Padfoot._

 _Padfoot thought Moony was acting a bit strange, the giant wolf usually being violent and often snapping at the smaller dog, however tonight he was playful, nipping softly at Padfoot and smelling him at least once every 10 minutes._

 _That was why, when Moony came up behind Padfoot and took a deep sniff of Padfoot's backside that all he did was huff out a laugh. He'd moved his tail to the side to allow the wolf better access without thinking, and suddenly realised what he'd just done. He'd presented himself, essentially given the wolf permission._

 _Padfoot attempted to run but the wolf had obviously seen the display, and immediately clawed at the smaller dogs shoulder, successfully keeping him in place._

 _Moony dug his paws into Sirius and held him there. After a few failed attempts he managed to mount the smaller dog. Sirius let out a small whine of displeasure, the feeling of being filled in this form was completely unknown to him. Moony thrust a number of times before Sirius felt the base of the wolf's length begin to swell and push inside of him. Soon they were locked together and Moony was making shallow thrusts, Padfoot following him as a result of being tied together. Moony released his seed inside of Padfoot and finally pulled himself out._

 _Moony licked the blood from Sirius' shoulder where he'd dug his claws into the tender flesh before he began to walk back to the shack. Padfoot followed behind slowly, and when Remus began to change back he'd collapsed to the ground and transformed back as well. He lay awake for around an hour before he'd heard Remus wake up himself, and when only five minutes later his mate had attempted to put a hand on his waist he'd flinched. He knew Remus felt it, and he knew Remus was too polite to mention it so Sirius closed his eyes and finally allowed himself to slip into a deep and uninterrupted sleep._

Sirius rubbed a hand over his face and let out a pained sigh. He wasn't mad at Remus, not at all. He felt guilty for not telling him, but he also didn't know how to bring it up in conversation. _Hey Remus! How's your day? Just thought you should know, last moon we were playing around in the grass and you stuck it in me! Love you, bye!_ Sirius frowned at the thought, he knew if he told Remus that he would blame himself.

So Sirius did what Sirius does best, he avoided it and pretended it didn't happen until it went away, and this worked. Sirius didn't know why it upset him so much, what happened. He suspected it was due to the form they both took, but that wasn't to say he didn't enjoy it. It definitely wasn't the most pleasant thing he'd ever experienced, but it wasn't horrible. It was still Remus. Or was it? Sirius believed that the problem was indeed the fact that Remus wasn't aware, even though Remus and the wolf share the same body and the same mind, they are two separate entities.

Sirius punched the tiled wall of the shower with his fist, and pain exploded inside of his hand.

"Fuck!" He screeched. Sirius was muttering a number of expletives so colourful he didn't hear the shower door being pulled open.

"Are you okay?" There stood Remus, his face seemingly struggling between genuine worry and calm indifference.

"M'fine Moo- Remus." Sirius corrected himself half way through, he really doubted he wanted to be called something that had always been said amongst friends. Sirius turned the shower off, not bothering to wrap a towel around himself.

Remus grabbed his hand carefully and surveyed the damage, Sirius' breath hitched when he ran a finger over a now swollen knuckle. "Why'd you do it?" Remus asked quietly, his voice wavering slightly.

Sirius knew he wasn't talking about the wall, that much was obvious. He swallowed down his guilt and stared into Remus' eyes. He figured he owed him the truth. "I wanted you to leave me alone." Remus' brow furrowed in confusion, then his face contorted into rage.

"So what, Sirius? You go from loving me and becoming my _mate_ , to sleeping some girl only just over a month later? Do you have any idea how that felt to me!? Remus was shaking in anger now and Sirius needed to say something quickly.

"You don't understand, that's not what I meant. I was doing it for you. I was staying away for you." He looked guiltily to the floor.

"How was that helping me? How were you doing that for me? You're so selfish."

"Remus, I couldn't be around you, not after what happened! You couldn't know, I cou-" Sirius stopped himself immediately, realising he'd said too much.

"I couldn't know what Sirius?" Remus' wrath had stopped almost immediately, his face now shrouded with worry. "Sirius? What is it?"

Sirius felt like slamming his head into the tiled wall, but he supposed Remus had a right to know, as much as he didn't want to tell him, he had the right.

"Last moon, something happened Rem." Remus looked into Sirius' eyes, searching for answers. "That night, before I came back to Hogwarts, I was feeling pain. I was in agony. My mother tore into my bedroom and called for a Healer and an Auror to come and try and fix me." Remus was studying Sirius' face, he'd suspected something happened to do with his family, this just confirmed his suspicions. "When they arrived they figured out I was bonded with a werewolf, they discovered that I'm an _empath._ Yo-"

"What do you bloody mean you're an empath?" Remus looked up at him in shock.

"An empath is a wi-"

"I know what an empath is, what I'm asking is _how_? They're one of the rarest types of wizards, Sirius!" The darker haired teen rolled his eyes at this, wishing to continue recounting the night to Remus.

"Yes, yes I know. Anyway, back to what happened. They'd figured out I was an empath and that I was bonded to a werewolf. They cut the connection and I was released from the pain. They told my mother, she came storming up to my room and cursed me. She used the cruciatus curse." Remus visibly flinched at this, his face once again contorting into the mask of rage. "She disinherited me, Rem. I Floo'd to Hogwarts and I came down to the shack to see you."

"I remember seeing you Sirius! Before I shifted, I remember seeing Padfoot walking over to me." Remus recalled in awe.

"After you changed, we went outside and hunted for a bit. You started to smell me." Sirius began to look uncomfortable, Remus picked up on it immediately.

"Did I... Did I hurt you Sirius?" Remus looked horrified by the possibility, this was exactly what Sirius wanted to avoid. He nodded once and began to elaborate.

"Please understand, I don't blame you. I'm not mad at you, I'm not mad at all."

"What did I do exactly?" Remus looked like he knew, he looked like he was just hoping Sirius would say something completely different.

"You, uh, you... Well you know, you _took_ me." Sirius added so much emphasis on the _took_ that Remus cringed before his mouth turned into a large frown. He seemed to consider himself for a moment, before he mumbled out a small, "I'll just go then, if you want to talk I'm here, but I won't seek you out otherwise." Remus turned as though he was leaving when Sirius grabbed him on the elbow.

"Don't blame yourself, Moony. It wasn't horrible, just unexpected. Really." Sirius rubbed soothing circles into Remus' hand, trying to convey that he wasn't mad. When this didn't work, he walked closer to the other boy and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

Passionately, the pair immediately deepened the kiss. Fireworks exploded behind Sirius' eyes and all he knew was that he wanted more. Remus let out a soft groan as he looked down, only to be reminded that Sirius was completely naked, wrapped up in Remus' arms.

The taller boy gently pushed the other against the stall wall and began trailing passionate kisses down his collar bone, pushing their hips together. Sirius drawled out a loud moan and began stripping Remus of his clothes.

Remus continued to press his soft lips against Sirius' body before dropping to his knees and taking him in his mouth, Sirius' hips jolted forward and Remus had to put a controlling hand on his side to keep him still.

"Fuck... Moony, keep going." Sirius' fingers wrapped through the soft and sandy-coloured tendrils of Remus' hair, tugging lightly to pull him off, just before he let out his release all over Remus. Sirius embraced him in a passionate kiss before wrapping a hand around his swollen cock and pulling him to completion.

The pair, now exhausted, slid to the ground together, Remus' clothes lay forgotten in the corner along with Sirius' towel.

"I love you, Remus." Sirius practically whispered.

"I love you too, Padfoot."

The shared another chaste kiss before turning the water back on and cleaning the other off, the tender presses of fingertips against each other's skin a comfort to the recently reconciled pair.


End file.
